Since the 90’s we have been tortured by white actors who want to rap. Recently the Oscar nominated actor, Joaquin Phoenix, has announced he will no longer act in order to join the ranks of Marky Mark and David from 90210 (aka "the poor man's Vanilla Ice"). When first hearing this I probably like the rest of you thought this has to be a joke. I mean this is the guy who just played Johnny Cash in Walk the Line. Plus what the fuck kind of name is Joaquin Phoenix? It sounds like he should be apart of the X-men rather than the Beastie Boys.
To top it off Phoenix doesn’t sound too confident in his rapping skills either. He said "Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that's possible, but that's certainly not my intention." What the fuck is wrong with this asshole. He knows that in all likelihood will turn out to be a complete failure yet still is going to attempt this! He looks like he has been stranded on an island for 10 years and I’m not talking about Shaolin or Long Island. Oh and his recent performance in a Las Vegas nightclub was reminiscent of a hobo shouting random nonsense on the E train.
Las Vegas nightclub performance - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrclRelKUno
It’s really not to hard to see why Joaquin Phoenix is out of his God damn mind. His parents were members of the religious cult Children of God (maybe that can be the name of his rap group) and changed their last name to Phoenix because it symbolized a new beginning. But hey maybe Phoenix is the new beginning of rap! I mean “the best rapper alive” is now doing rock albums so there is an open spot for the throne!
Too
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